I have eggs on my shoes. I've been trying to clean them for the past couple of hours. It was not my fault at all.
I went to the grocery store and decided to use the self-checkout because there was one cashier who was scanning slowly, seeming more concerned with her ugly pink hair and chewing her bubble gum. I don't trust someone adding up my money who has to concentrate that hard on bubble gum. The other cashier had a thick accent and I did not want to struggle to understand him.
So I decided only I only had the patience for the self-checkout line. Clearly, you need some sort of intelligence to operate the stupid thing. In the front of the line was an old woman who took forever to find the barcode. She had a smartass 12 year old boy with her who just played some stupid app on his stupid phone and not bothering to help the old woman. And she didn't show any assertiveness by telling him what he needed to do. What is wrong with these people?
The next person was some woman who had the grossest muffin top and it offended my eyes to see it and she had way too many items for the self-check out.
A young couple got behind me with a baby who started to scream for NO REASON and right in my ear. I wanted to revoke their parenting rights.
Then, the woman in front of me was some twenty-something. And she... was TALKING on her phone as she scanned her items VERY SLOWLY! She also had these gross hot pink nails that would scrape across the scanner which made the most offensive sound... almost on par with the baby with the horrible parents.
When it came time to bag her groceries, she still yapped away in a grating New York Accent. Then, she picked up a dozen eggs to put in the bag and declared, "OH CRAP! I got WHITE eggs! I wanted BROWN! Brown is HEALTHIER! I'm gonna have to put this back!"
I was so absolutely LIVID at her stupidity, I took the eggs from her hands and threw the eggs on the ground and crushed them. I told her... very calmly, "There is no difference between brown and white eggs and if you want to lose weight, BUT THE COOKIE DOUGH BACK. I bet you eat it straight from the package anyway." And I walked out leaving my groceries.
So, I HAVE NO GROCERIES. And I was going to make this FRENCH recipe or try it anyway but now I can't because the stupid woman with the stupid nails and the stupid phone had to go and want a different set of eggs.
I'm stuck with deciding what take out I want. And I broke my DS. And even my favorite movie is aggravating me.
WHY DOES HE SAY AS YOU WISH?! AND WHY DO I ACT THE SAME EXACT WAY!